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Parental Conflict: Information for Parents

What is 'parental conflict'?

Some level of arguing and conflict between parents is often a normal part of everyday life. However, there is strong evidence to show how inter-parental conflict that is frequent, intense and poorly resolved can have a significant negative impact on children's mental health and long-term life chances.

Damaging conflict between parents can be expressed in many ways such as:

  • unresolved arguing
  • silence
  • lack of respect
  • lack of resolution

Conflict can affect children in all types of parental relationships, including:

  • parents who are in a relationship, whether married or not
  • parents who have separated or divorced
  • biological and step parents
  • other family members playing a parenting role
  • foster and adoptive parents
  • same-sex couples

The Reducing Parental Conflict programme focuses on the ways that a couple behave, rather than the status of the relationship.

There are many forms of conflict in relationships, some are healthy. As adults, we are role models for our children so if we are able to remain calm and respectful whilst addressing any disagreements we have, it provides our children with important life skills for future interactions with others.

Children who experience relationships which are positive and productive are more likely to feel settled and have good social and emotional wellbeing.

Unfortunately, conflict can sometimes be quite damaging; when children witness adults who shout loudly, argue a lot or perhaps ignore one another frequently or for long periods of time, it can have a negative impact on children's self-esteem, mental and physical health, behaviour and academic achievements and future relationships with others. Research suggests if there is long term conflict between parents, it can affect multiple outcomes for children, including emotional, behavioural, social and academic development.

You can watch Nottingham Children's Service's YouTube video for Relationships Really Matter: Parental Conflict - this video helps to explain how parental conflict can impact on children, from a child's perspective.

You can also watch this YouTube video on the impact of parental conflict on children.

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